Sunday, October 12, 2008

The Hijab Pearl - (Part 1)



The young girl danced
Around men she pranced – hypnotizing the magnitude of their fantasies
She was their fire –devoured by her motion
Movements like lotion that melted into a wave of her own passionate symphony
They adjusted precious time to her, later remembering that it only a blur Intertwined moments under her spell, she tasted of heaven but the temptation was hell
Every pupil devouring her luscious curved hips and her tender rouge lips
Silk poisoned black hair and delicate romantic steps so bare
Midnights that blended with morning – she grasped their thoughts hostage, until the following evening.

Creating the rhythm of wonderful despair
Her golden hoops shook around her friction & her wear
Through a disco that flashed a broken dream, only she could feel her scream
Pushing desire against the walls that captivated her mystery
Where it seemed – that beauty was accidentally spilled with tragedy
But admirations were always one phone call away, and jealous eyes were adamant to stay -
Where it felt - that the stage was her servant – serving her life into a stolen beat - Master of defeat

She sways within the twilight nightmare, bleeding an equation that is devastatingly unfair
Bombarded by a stranger deep in her soul, someone knocks loudly determined to call – her mind and heart into a twisted kiss - Of heartbreak and bliss
Body of suffocation – Her lungs tighten to find air to breathe
Rehearsal everyday – when her body plunges into the addiction of this lost show - She dances creatively to her flow –
Sadness Madness

And when she lays her sweet bitter figure to the cracks of the dawn, cracks on her peace, she finds nothing but a shattering girl and a battered lease
Renting her everything to nothing, her sweat mingles with the drama in her heart
Tears crashing like a tsunami on her pillow, emptiness filling spaces in her so hollow
She weeps for her shiny black days that have no cause; she doesn’t want to do this anymore she needs to pause
Turning for an answer all she finds is her swollen dresses of anger, the remains of ugly passion clinging on the fabric like a virus
Glittered pain climbs the wrinkles of her hands; only weaknesses are under her command

Her dreams are a stone home for her misery
She flies through places in time stuffed with clouds of agony
Films taped in her memory, of when this all started and ways it can all stop
How she became the better dancer but only the worst feelings profited in her
How she lost her family but she thought it was for the future
How she threw out her meaning for this horrible dealing
Just when was it all going to stop?

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -