Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Memories to Reform

My memories rain down on me
from this open sky of misery
pearls of pain puncture my skin
As I absorb my memories and cry deep from within
My eyes keep betraying my secrets
And my tears spill the story of what I've felt
All the hurtful memories that melt into my name
Poetry place in the middle of my dreams
Singing words to the hum of despair
Trying to fix my wounds so I can repair
The Rips and bruises in my mind
Then maybe I'd be able to find
Peace of mind and a resting conscience
I know it starts from within
The courage to Love
Yourself and the one above
I keep breaking apart
Like its poor quality glue - that got sent to my heart
Tired spells slowly depart
Silences of soul, wounds in spirit
Waiting for a lost credit
Reform
Take away the shadows of the doubt
My ancestor of torment suddenly split from my name
Giving me the best broken treasure I would ever regain
understanding moments and moment of time
through a sea of regalis, monarchy and true crime
Essential reform spearing the light

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -