Monday, November 5, 2007

I don't want to know


I don’t want to know
That you’re far or away
I don’t want to know
That you’re not going to stay

I don’t want to know
When I’ll be left to cry
I don’t want to know
That one day –
You wont’ care what has happened to me in days gone by

I don’t want to know
If parting from you is news
I don’t want to know
That it’s you I will lose
I don’t want to know
Of a beautiful love and be told to let go

I don’t want to know
That I couldn’t make you happy
I don’t want to know
Your walk, as you leave me behind
I don’t want to know
How I’ll feel when you turn the key
I don’t want to know
The way your eyes will say,
You don’t want to be with me

I don’t want to know
That’s what I’ll try
Passing you -
And running swiftly by
And nothing would be the matter
Because I don’t know
And all will be fine as a distance grows
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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -