Signed.....Turned on the lights

I know youre here and I wont let you take my lifefrom me
yo uare triyng and I will fight back
all my problems
all my problems
are solvable
all of them are just tricks
all of them are God seeing how good I am
I wil fight you pathetic devil
and I will take advantage of all my resources
because in the first time I am excited and havea chance to be happy
and have a chance to start over
and lesson learnt
I will make myself beautiful inside to out
not for anyone excpet me and then the one
the one that Gods sends me the one that I am right for
the one that loves me
and makes me feel perfect and a beautiful woman
becasue I am
but he has the key to say so
I will make myself beautiful for hm
the one I want to be kind to
and smile to
and make happy and most importantly
the one that wants to need me
and be near me
becasue he wants to foerver
nothing else
its just simple
youre not in the equation
and I am winning how many times have there been crises a lot
I hope God protects me from them
but if they come
crises
you are not the solution
you are only the accelerator to pain
you are the catalyst
you cannot make me do anyhting but if you can affect me
and I wont let you
never ever again
I am everyday stronger htan before and I will shake you when yo utry to stick
liek now
those were not the solutions
and I saw that
SO PISSOFF!

Signed... Turned on the lights

Signed ....I wont let you

nice try
but I wont let u
you wont shape my future no more
you wont pull me  past  my dreams no more
I wont let you I Wont put my guards down
you can try
you may pass one security , or two
but you cannot finish your stealing gam
I will catch you
and my heart will remain the same
strong and far away from you
you wont win no more
you cant live here no more
your a loser here
your weak here
and i wont let you win me
I wont let you be bigger than life
larger than truth
i wont let you be stronger than pain
or sadness
no you are minute
and miniscule and pathetic
i hate that word
i hate you
and i will beat you down
till you are .....gone completely


Signed....I wont let you 

Signed ......never let you

They say he's good at what he does
he's bee naround since adam
and before when he actually  did obey god and his call
but then refused to bow to his creation us
and so decided he would make life thus
.......a disaster
they say he's smart, strong and sexy
they say he's invisible but can be unlike and come in all different forms
they say he is very good at his work
and thus his career has propsered and will prosper indefinietely
Professor Devil?

how can a young young girl like me fight him?
defeat him
make him so angry that I'm not listening
threaten him
change the game
win the game
make him run
make him cry
make him die if he tries come near me

how can such inexperience win?
how can such lack of knowledge get a distinction in thisexam
the exam of beating him
doing better and beyond
never


i never want to see him
I never want to exchange anything with him
I dont want anything from him
I dont want nothing in exchange
I want to be on God's side
ALWAYS

you might say impossible
he's too talented
he's just too talented
like chess
can predict your next move and move before you
pathetic
you might say
is trying to win him

pathetic i say is leaving him win
pathetic I say is believing he can win
pathetic I say is thinking he's smarter
you are human beautiful flesh and mind and blended with courage and love
he is just pathetic in an other realm somewhere with no family
with nothing to do but look at you
with nothing to do but think of ways to mess your happiness
for he has no happinness
he knows he is a part of hell
he knows fire pain and regret are his only home
he knows his existence is pathetic
he knows he has no family, never tasted the feeling of a smile
never tasted the love of God
never tasted the strength of love
never will amount to anything
so the best he can do is make you not amount to anything too

I wont let you
I wont let you
you may try
come and try
try a million times
try a million more
try my whole life
but I will never let you
you are pathetic
you are less than the ability of a cell
or the knowledge of an atom


Signed
......never let you 

Signed... the weakless

Ya allah seal my cracks
mend my holes
restore my being
before i fall
repair my time
alter my fate
change my heart
turn me back
so i am not late
for the future
Ya Allah heal my thoughts
treat my soul
treat the melody that has turned cold
put back power
build my ceiling higher
for I dream I can see past the small things
and I dream the sky is not my limit
and  I dream this hope never dies
without faith
and I dream I am amazing
at everything possible
and I dream he becomes a part of me
and I dream he is strong
and I dream its perfectly wrong
and I dream its luscious
and I dream its surreal
and I dream its magnified volume of love
and I dream its all mine
I am selfish Ya Allah
but I am not small
I am selfish Ya Allah
but I am not young no more
I am selfish Ya Allah
but I am not weak


Signed ....
the weakless

Signed...I refuse

I refuse to fall
I refuse to call on the wrong thing
I refure to lose my determination
I refuse to get myself in a common mess
for common people
for common lay stupid people
I refuse to shadow in black
I refuse to fall
I'd rather die
I'd rather starve
I'd rather have any dismercy fall
but not this fall
never
I refuse to go soft
I refuse to lose this battle
this is a battle i refuse to get killed in
to die in
no I'd put my life for everything
but I refuse to put my life for something wrong like this
particularly this
I refuse to forget ramadan so early
I refuse to forget ramadan at all
I refuse to let God see me like this
I refuse to put my dreams up for sale
i refure to bow out of the game with broken arms and legs
I refuse to be the last
I refuse
it all
i will type till i erase the part in me that cannot understand
It will not have control
I refuse to listen to the wrong hting
to see the wrong thing
to hear the wrong thing
to feel the wrong thing
its simple this year
I refuse to be the old me

signed
I refuse

Signed...won't lose now

I do not want to forget or regret
I want to be put in a faithful situation and actually be faithful
worthwhile for this amazing career , of carrinng Islam in my heart
and the pain of regret is humiliating and agonising
of letting that go, the test of time

_________
I only want to ache for you
smile at you
let you enter my world and open my dreams
for they are yours and yours alone to open
and I only want to wait
and I only want to watch you watching me
and hear us wishing upon stars of tommorrow together
and I only want to make first time everythings with you
_____________

something burns inside me
hurts me and can break me
but right now i have enough supplies to win this war
i must ask for more
and wait till I get it
i must use my resources wisely
and I must pray for better
 love for myself before anybody else
tell me
which route do you want to take?
which ramadan do you choose?
the one that won
or the one that was all wrong
__________________

I choose life , true love and happy visions
i choose success and smiling and cinemas
I choose cinnamon buns and carrot cake
I choose walking and dancing
and mango radio
I choose jokes on TV and an old film ive watched a lot
I choose to leave darkness behind
I choose to control my senses
I choose to control myself
I choose to live for goodness and innocence and purity and healthy drama and satin love with white rose stare and glance at you
somewhere between a khartoum faiytale a future awaits for me and I plan to arrive
i can almost scent it and hear it but I cannot see it all for its in another realm
that only God can bring to me

I choose my future

Signed

...

wont' lose now