Friday, October 17, 2025

Different reasons

We have the same second earrings 
And different cars with the same strengths
Black and white opposite reasonings and in the middle the poorest
Fit
I stopped the help for different reasons but i am able to make treble
I worry about the reasons of covering head for others theres no time to mend
In the eyes of glazed i clean the ok
And i make money off the pain amd the subtle energy of im boss
And ur not lingers in the day 
Calm my monster accept myweakness itswritten
Awaiting trial i am afraid and weak 
And strong at the same time wrong or right 
I never know
Forcing happiness and now numbness
I am not calm 
Of course the others dont do like some and some dont do like others 
I feel like i dont want to talk or listen but i do want to invent
 

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -