Sunday, April 2, 2023

Who’s right who’s wrong

 Mum I want my own bottle

Who cares

Should I have should I not it hurts me that I don’t know 

I just don’t know the answer 


Homework somethings thinks it’s meaningless I think it’s really important . I’m pretty sure I’m right. Who cares . In the end does it matter that I convince or does it matter I live and be free


I was a so sad about the yoghurt case for those girls. Even sadder they got arrested. I think that man should go to hell . Many other men too. Horrible.  


The car park was empty right there a space. But no . Man said no. There were ‘children’ there who were grown up teenagers going to a disco. What’s the big deal. Why did I have to be one arguing on behalf of someone else . 


Life is all about people thinking they are right and others are wrong. It’s always about convincing . Or trying to convince . 

Sometimes I am smarter in my own head than out of  it. For someone who now has a PhD I should be smarter though escpecially with my beautiful daughter who I will lose this way 


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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -