Friday, February 3, 2023

Answers

 In a time of desperation the answers are painful 

I feel sad

Not knowing

Not having

Someone out there knows

And yet I’m angry 

I’m frustrated

I’m lost

I’m anxious

I’m wishing

I’m hopeful 

But they wouldn’t care

No answers 

Back

In my mind it’s all black 

I tried

I don’t know if I failed … yet

I’m just so heartbroken like I’m waiting for it to be all unleashed 

Through the gate 

With their key of confirmation 


We are sorry to let you know… 


I feel 

Feel less 

I’ve tried 

But I just don’t have any more power in me 

I’ve given it all up 

Only allah has all the power


The answer is out there

The one I don’t want and the one I do

The one I dream of and The one that shatters


The answer can be hard

Can be tough 

Can be sore

Can be really aching

And one must go through it all 


Until it is confirmed or until it isn’t 

Until it’s there or until it’s not


That light 

Was probably the new person 

I just can’t face it

Those in the queue Someone has the answer

 And history repeats faced with tragedy I distract 

Until it’s too late


The answer is 

Don’t be like this 

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -