Saturday, August 23, 2014

the non imaginary sunshine

today im going to be ahppy
nothing is going to phase me and nothing is going to break me
im going to enjoy my life my hours my second
my music that ive descivered
im going to be me and be happy
im not going to worry about him or her or them orwhy or how or
if onlys
im not going to think im jsut going to breathe
and dream
and pray
and im not going to wonder or wander
im just going to explore and pour out my love for the sunshine
and for Allah


for Allah is the greatest and I am great too
in my own way
i am
and i wil be strong
and i will be true to my heart
and thankful
because i am too blessed to be stressed
and i can do what i want to
and i can choose what i want to
 and Allah has given me that


 
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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -