Thursday, May 5, 2011

I love you, youre beautiful take 3

I'm tired, desperately trying to find a way to write you, you take my every thought..... simply elegantly beautifully
I can create whirlpools of you , I can conjure millions of sillehoutte moments
I can reminisce on a future cascading with fire
I can cool in an instant by your touch
for you  freeze my ideas and place them in time
I can feel you every desire
I think I know your every move
But I know that is no where near true
for I have never met you
you are a fragment of imaginative beauty
a piece of creativity scented with desire and romantic sweetness -
a longing hope of honesty and bravery
for all I want is courage
and fear  from God
all I want is bravery
but weakness for me
all i want is power
but slavery to heaven
all  I want is miracles
made by God

Dear God
I pray today , for a better day
better days where I stay
in the arms of who I love
Dear God
I pray you not let me down
for i have high trust in your every second
and I know in one second
you can make all my dreams come true
nothing bad comes from you
only good
I understood
 that love is forever
and I want a love forever
to last through all time
dear God I love you, youre beautfiul
 I ask for strength
and wealth of safety and faith
for in a mans eyes I want to trace....you
Dear God do not let me dissapoint my parents
please do not let me dissapoint my parents
for I love them and would sacrifice as I hope I have already sacrificed tears for them
Dear God
PLease help me
let all my papers through
let all my life through happiness and honesty
I never want to steal love
I never want to steal hope
for hope is not mine but yours only for me to borrow
I must give it back safe and as it was  given one say
dear God forgive me
Dear God please let there be a man for me who.....very much so understands...you
and very much so....loves you and very much so..... is handsome
and that you are proud of and indeed have created for me
Dear Dear God
please let it be so
Please i ask for a half of wondrous attraction
and one love
and one story
and one day
and lifetimes with him I stay

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -