Sunday, November 7, 2010

the third option


But imagine if there was a way out
like glowing flowers and daylight
and whispering nights of paradise
imagine if there was a way out
I think I would take it
I think I would care about it
and help it grow
its hard to find the right thing
its hard to do the best
by hard I mean the second option should be the first
the third option is to die
the fourth option is to breathe
the second option is to say its hard and pretend
the first is to
break
free
from all your queit intuitions of madness
you are not
you will never be
you are lost
you are alone
you are lonely
they are all differentt variations of the same meaning
you are choosing the third option
there is always something before and after death
so why do you choose to die
to live like you are dead?

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -