Saturday, September 21, 2013

From a magazine...

A long lost dream
of reading modernity
even though its wrong
Power of denial consumes
as I assume
this weakness 
is okay
colours shine once more
and I am blind to the core
that time is passing quickly
and will never stop
to  take me on board
I Must run
I must find a way on
before its all gone
the chance to be
Hope 
now
just a name
Im no longer the same
beautiful girl
history I see
it was all just days
and now these are all just days
collected to be me
just...
something
anything
anything to feed the challenge
of faithless crime
A long lost dream
stopping days before they stop me
and living clean before it gets too
dirty
to see through the tarnished
debilitated memories

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -