Nearly isnt enough 1

They are not alive but dead , they won't feel until it is too late ( that day)

I break in the memory of girl who I used to know a long long time ago
she was beautiful , she was aliv, breathing in the vast air that God gave her , thankful for each breath, happy that she has this unquantified gift
This girl cherished God , lived for him and him alone, prayed because she wanted to offer him something and not just because it had to be done
studied to be better her country and family and not just because she was ttested

tests were easy
tests were a symbol of her faith to good faith


i once knew a girl who always smiled
who always wanted to live
laugh and only cry in times of great need
for even tears where a facility from God that should be never underestimated or over exaggurated

I once knew a girl who lived for sanity
for identity
who knew....God
who he was and what he wanted



I once knew a girl who nearly was not enough for her
she always wanted the A
always wanted the first line
always wanted the first thing
not in selfish way
but in a I can do better way


______________
now i see a girl who is behind the fnish line....... barely in the distance can she walk or talk , she cannot breathe and she cannot see where she has to go ...she is in pain and she is miserable at her loss of function - she is old and ugly because of the accummulations of wrong life of too much dependancy on ...life
she is dark and darkened by her loss of soul
her heart is getting congested with remorse and guilt she feels terrible guilty at the past she cannot go forwards as she always looks back...Useless

and here toda 11 days from the start she is still 11 days behind...........................