Saturday, January 24, 2009

So close, yet so far...Are we human or are we dancers


Tell me something I don’t know....
He whispers in her ear and his breath tingles with her senses, twirling her into a magnitude of romance she could barely contain
She closes her eyes and thinks of her past, present and future, her dreams, her pains, her lives, her loves, her hates, her senses, her wants....her powers...

He is waiting for her answer...His voice begging her to tell him
How many things could she say? How many ways could she say them...
His arms hold her nearer and it gets very hard to contain her weakness, maybe he will understand? Maybe he will love me always...
She thinks of the right words to use to tell him...it’s now or never
‘I am...I...I...I am a dancer...I dance.'
He smiles gently and brushes his lips to her cheek, wow, so are you going to dance for me?
She looks into his eyes, burning and sensual, drowning and passionate, pausing only to take a breath - Yes.
Part of herself she could give to him...she was a dancer... but she wasn’t human
Each second she spent with him, she wanted to tell him who she was, what she was...but each second spent with him she fell more and more hopelessly in love...and if she lost that....
So as she swirled, curved, melted and merged with the music of life...she knew she had made the right choice – even if the love of her life would always be close...yet so far.

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -