Scared

I think I'm afraid of the beginning even though I'm already afraid of the end

Her blues catch her and become her colour
bruising all that good in her with stains of broken armor
she can't forget what she desires, its controlling her immortally
she becomes its slave, she's lost emotionally
weeping to the raining gash of her feelings
she cant stop bleeding
from all her pain and her suffocation
breathing with no air she only takes in regret
but that can't help her survive it never helps her forget
she's imagining dreams that are so improportionate
shattering grandeur trying to conquer any goodness she could ever have left
and she just doesnt know what to do
to become strong again
like a disease of minds is on her skin
trampling her beauty from within
she looks ugly to the core
she looks useful no more
she looks full of hate from opening this devils gate
free on herself
she looks torn apart but no one can see the rips
she hides so well everyone thinks she's a sweet sip
of value
but to her she's worthless
an empty unforgiven madness
chaotically defined
she's terribly ill defined
she wants to be somebody that just seems too hard
like the tools were all stolen from her to reach that
and she was given fake instruments to allure her into something that
is really not her
really not her
but she cannot see it
she cannot feel it
she only feels what she shouldnt feel
she only sees what she shoulnt see
she only becomes someone she should not become
and she is only insane about things she should not be insane about
she is
she is
she doesnt know what she is
she doesnt know who she is
she is scared
from herself
and from her soul's unpredicatable nature of immaturity and lack of control
and she is scared from burning her dreams without noticing she was the one who lit a fire
and she is scared from not being able to find what she wants
and she is scared from being forbidden and unforgiven
and she is scared from what she does not want to do
NOT change

her life is like a garment she just cannot fit into
her ways are like a crime she avoids to testify to
her mind is like a hole that is sieving out her true dreams
her heart is fading away erased by her screams

her time is running out and she has not done anything yet
her passion is mistaken for something that is making her regret
her love is chagning into a face she has never met
her anger is never subsiding as she continues to feed its debt

her moments are hating how many bad memories she is creating
her memories are begging that they not be blamed
her faults are increasing with every breath she takes
her cries are flooding every sound of change she makes

her room is dirtying as she stops to clean it
her room of sleepless nights are taking over every bit
of her sanity that she lost to the night
her eyes are chasing the shadows of the fight

her music does not save her anymore
her prayers do not hear her adore
her soul is not ready for anything in store
her angels have disappeared to someone with a better core

she clutches her eyes and her darkness prevails
but when she opens them bats of fury leave her pale
with whiteness - she is a ghost of her consequence
she is a shattering of her condolence


she has dissapointed even the silence of the dawn
she has let go of the beauty in her self
for an ugliness like a monsters roar
she hears its killing echo in her pour

witches and demons
for stars and sweet juice of lemon
battered cermony
of her falling heights

weakened testimony that she is alright
she is not alright
she is not ok
she is far away
she is visiting but has stayed
under the grasp of wickedness

''They say lucifer was the shiniest star in heaven, that is why evil is so seductive''

She wonders about that
sedutive
seduction
passion
Like Henry Tudor and Anne Boleyn
seduction, desire, passion, lust, control, murder
Hypnotic words.....
Hypnotic Love story