My motto-

use everything uve got

That includes time health wealth youth mind sanity kindness food things pens wii. Magazines things in magaZines tasberh counter also used as step counter stairs like a gym strength dreams use dreams use it all

Chandermuki and Parvati

Fall in love and fall in love again

Forgive and forgive again

Until your heart is clean and filled with fresh jasmine

Dont know your limits

Know your rights

Your rights to a life u want

To A dream u need

To A hope u wish for 

Dance your problems away

Without chandermuki 

But dance like her

Wear glitter in your mind

And dont get sick from things that should only give u health

Faith is here

Sit in places u didnt

Be things u werent

But be things u were

Like kind

And strong and motivated

Be young

Be troubled with the future 

But dont be troubled by it

Dont make that mistake

Hating anything

A month on

Itsbeen a month

Been a while

But just a few seconds since i came

Renew that flick

Renew that spark

Break those fears

And make ur mark

He makes u happy but you... Dont

You know whats wrong

And this side of the year is already on the lesser

Dont waste time as ur horoscope always says

Pick up and with speed

Justlike u did all thise beautiful things

Do this

Dont be sleepy

Wake up

Feel everyday

Love everyday

Know things

And change

Today is a new day

People are back

Life is back

I mean life is here

Life is fresh new and all those ramadan days u wished a day like today would be here is here

So breathe 

And be new

No weetabix

Whats wrong with u ?! 

The fact u can have tea in the morning and biscuits and enjoy the clove infusion watching sabah alkheir is a miracle

Some peopledont have tea amd biscuits and live outside in the sun

Some are aick and have to worry constantly about their sickness

Some dont have a hand to hold the cup ur holding

Some

Dont like tea and biscuits

Some

Cant enjoy life because they dont have a life

But as for u

Every part of it is enjoyable

Stop making urself feel bad

Tommorow u will give him weetabix

Or even a lush breakfast

Today

U didnt it doesnt mean u love him any less

Whats going on

Could it be... All your devils are back? So all those nightsand all those prYers just lasted for a day?

Whats going on

Whyare u so proud 

Close ur eyes and imagine what the conversation would go like....

You cant

Because other people will always be other people

And you cannot think for them

Haram what ur doing

Shes older than u kinder than u and u kno what

Wiser than u 

U really are a fool thatis what upset u 

Everything she says annoys u because deep down ur afraid ur being her

Going to the door of the room is exercise

Is t it the same mentality

Lazy

Too kind

I think deep down ur afraid of becoming her

That frightens u 

Saddens u 

Scares u 

And so u attack

What are ur opinions

?

But a small dot in the world

Never mind how small they are in her world

And no matter how much u try they  always be small

But the repercussions are huggge

Like ur ...

Ego

Its nit all confidence

Break itdow. And like the leg of lamb lyig there for a year you will find at the botttom

Under all those layers all that ice you have inside u 

Is fear

And fear is controlling

Us maddening

Is wild

Is untaming if u let it

And u cannot be both

That woman u imagine

And that girl u are right now

Ramadan day 28- those pains...

I know

I cant get away from them

This time i have to accept them

Have to let them sink me

For i havnt been light

I havnt been light to my body nor kind

Nor happy

And so in return it hasntbeen nice to me

Like powercuts

It cutsitsmagic from meandjust barely 

Survives 

Ya allah samihni

For everything i have done to my body

How far i have driven it offshore

Andhow long i have neglected

I have been mubazira

I havebeen ananiya

I havebeen u grateful

Ya allah

Forgive me

For i have heaviness everywhere

But after this ramadan

Things have to get better

This time my worries must get lighter

But i must work harder

And make allah proud 

Things must change

For i am sinking

Like fadil

Care for your body and it will support your dreams

Ramadan day 22- very very hurt

الليلة مسحني من حياتو بي طريقة ما

اتاكد انو ما اكون جواها و انو ما اكون 

متابعة

ما انا واحدة كنت من متابعينو من مشجعينو من احبابه بس 

هو قره انا ما  اكون معاهو

الليلة صباح جديد امتحان و امتحان اكبر فها انا ادمع في السر ولو العين لا تخفي العلم وتكسفني  علننا و الماء تدفق شوية والجرح الجديد انذف

فانا جرحي كبير الليلة

فهو مسحني

عشان ما اشوف عشان اعما عشان الحرية 

فانا الله اعلم متي حبي اخلاصي و احترامي وايضامدي خوفي و مدي اهتماماي

ولكن حاجة كبيرة 

علي

فانا في هذا الشهر الفضيل تعلمت الكثير عني 

ولكن ... هل انا ظالمة ولا مظلومة ؟؟؟ فهذا السوال جديد و عالمهو كبير و ظالم 

Ramadan day 21- all my cards are down

يا الله لا تجعلني خسرانة من هذا الدنيا 

All my playing cards are down 

For i like chocolate and good food

And travrl but too deep to put myself for a family

All my cards are down

I am just words

I am just broken size

Travelling pain

And then out ofcthe blue

Someone speaks my anguish into the open air

Someone younger than u has become someone better than u

Even planning to enter ur world

And someone smaller than you

Has had ur wish come true

Even though

Its all urs and u always thought urself the stronger one

Dishing about your wealth health and

Everything else

And now 

Someone pointed out to u how weak ur are

All ur weak points

All ur bolts open

All ur pain gushing

Like too much choc cake 

No matter how much laugter

Fun or mango

There is a scream

------------------------------------------------

Or i could also write

God has never let me down

Always been on my side

Always been there for me

Always givene the best

Even though i have not deserved it

I have beenpatient i have been kind

I have been honest

And i will alwaysbe

Even if things take time

Even if things are hard

God will not let me down

In these blessed days

I will not lose hope

I will not fall to someone elses words

I will not pretend it doesnt hurt sometimes

But i will not succumb to that hurt and fall even deeper

No

I  better i am stronger

I am a good woman and one day i will be a great mother

And i know allh will not fail me

Ya rab

Ramadan day 18- تعالو دفوني

ولا تخوليني احتار 

ودموعي تنهار وصت الناس ولكنهم لا يشوفون المي و

لا يعرفون همي

بس انا محتاجة ليكم تجوني

ولا تنسوني

فانت لا تعرفون مدي احتياجي لكم

زي ما انتو حتحتاجو لي

لا تنسوني فانا هنا مستنياكم في اقرب وقت تعالو دفوني

حتا في الصيف دفوني

حتا في الحر دفوني

واما في البرد انتو البتشيلو عني الرجفة والحذن في القلب

يا الله تعالو دفوني