everything is off

My heart is in the wrong place

SO when I look at myself in the mirror

I

see

a stolen face

losteyes

broken wrinkles

chapped lips

drying goodness

dirty cleanliness

my heart is in the wrong place

like a far away hole filled with escapades of killing memories

nearer

I feel like a wall is between me and all that I want

I feel like a mad wall keeps getting bigger

darkening mylife

I have so much dreams

SO much good in me

I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me

that kills me

that makes me losesight of everything and get pulled back 20 light years way from confidence

I

dont know what to say

everything is off everything

here i am deep down wishing for a different shape in everyhting and a different mind set

ie asking for a new me

so that everyone

even the cloesest to me can stop this madness

when i know that is all wrong

for as long as i hate myself

as long as i dont  know myself

its all wrong