limitless or limited?

 I dont know 

i feel like i have it all yet the truth is /.... well different

I feel like i can do it all.. but im just not sure

how will next year be 

i definitely dont have control 

my children hate me

now hide from me

fight with me 

annoy me 

but i annoy them

i dont know whats stable and what itsnt

i dont know where is the line

i dont know why i get mad at things that shouldnt make me mad

i dont know why i feel chained

and now even more chained

no more free 9-1.30 and certainly no more 9-4 

ill miss that for a while 

i had freedom you know for a while

but then now i have something else

but i found out yesterday i am not as supported as it seems

and last months come and go 

its been nice

but it has to end

and something else has to start

i hope

as it seems i currently have no options

my options are limited

or are they limitless

i dont know

i just dont know

im blinded by my lack of control that i try take out on my children

control control control control control control control control control control control control control control control control control control control what does it mean control control control control control control control if i cant control my emotions or my mind or my strength or my attitude to life conttrol control control control control control control control control control control control control control control control control

control is being calm being positive being unworried letting things happen dont put blame on others they are trying you know

but on your terms not hard enough