Sometimes…

Sometimes 

My loneliness beats me

Down to the ground hard and rough 

I drown in its emptiness

No one to speak with 

No one to hold

But worse

I’m not first choice

Not even I choose me 

I find my tears warm me and ridicule me

Console me and dissolve me

They are my only friend 

And like mama Nagat 

She lived with her silence

Morphing it into illness as a way to get attention 

I have no ways 

I must simply

Remain 

Still 

No calls will save

No human can come now

No voice can be heard that fills the void

Just 

Still

Is all you can be