Enstranged

 From myself 

But worse my mum

We are like bread and toaster

She heats and i … blacken

Out of context we are unhappy

Not your normal 

Family

Mum and daughter should be kind should be fair

Should be tolerant should be … sweet

But we are vinegar put on a wound 

Or salt on the gash 

Of transferring this madness into my own

I hate who I am

Who I’ve become

I know I could be better kinder

That I could let all the pain STOP at the level of us

And not continue

For at least I owe the fact that this pain started recently

Not when I was 5

So poor faith

Having to deal with this 

I feel like I’m in a nightmare

Shouting

Defensiveness

Explosion of eyes

Anger

Anger

Sharpness

Unwillingness to be nice

Unwillingness to be loving

Answers always swift

Answers always mean

There are no answers 

It’s always gone

And I feel hurt

Really sad

That this would be us

No us

Just memories

And a future filled with fights

But hey …

I have the power to not m participate

Yes

I 

Do