How I feel right now

A failure

A failure of a woman 

A failure of a mother

Begging for love

Looking for answers 

Words

Someone to soothe this pain 

Mama are you ok?

And the medicine is on

But still my thoughts are black

My mind races

Why such difficulty

Why with me like this?

Why am I such a failure with myself

And why do I feel so disappointed so afraid

Why can’t I lick my wounds

At least my wounds are not from an accident

They’ve been layered and I’m angry and afraid

Going to mungnet 

I feel so alone

I am so Alone

These thoughts are just too much 

These wishes are to much to bare

These disappointments little ones are like mountains

It makes me ache 

That I have to try this hard

But in my dreams no one can hurt me 

And that’s why I run to them 

And although I hate them

I give in to them

BecUse in there it’s perfect

The water boy they called him

And he wasn’t for a while

 But now I’m a burden 

Where he answers rarely

And doesn’t for the majority

And where I cry with being so alone

I’m sick of it all

I’m just sick of it all