a new me?

I dont know what to do
am blue....
ate all those... and now i dont see you
feeling the start of bad luck
or my faults pain
feeling like hes gonna hate me and him too
promises
broken
lost

sad
all what i didnt want to feel
ads for Ramadan are here
and I am not even in existence
Where Is ALLAH to me

well if it wasn't for my big mouth
i might just find him
and you....
its M& T now
but hell never forgive me
here i am splattering my anger and looking like an evil monster
hating who i am
he
did not make me this way
and so i dont deserve


but this is not what i want to feel
breaking his heart
and yet he buys megold
feeling lost and gittery
too much tea
or incorrect hormones?
feeling stretched
in all the wrong ways
this is not what i want to do with my life

worry
be lazy
be unahppy
be unhealthy

see she lost her life in an instant
and now she just has to dream about it a wonder away
and i
push it away
happiness and making my own luck


push it away