reall? still here?

Imagine living with a devil

inside you

eating you alive.... as you try to continue doing something anything , you don't know what

imagine sleeping awake and thinking asleep

nothing is evolutionary, nothing is documentary

nothing is right

imagine needing something so much so deeply desperately praying for it , yearning for it all those years and then suddenly it all melts in to truth and it happens and then what....

you forget Allah, Life , accordance with memory you forget who you are and turn into a broken down desperation of freedom like an open prison 

  

worse 

your inside with an open door and you choose to stay ...inside

although there is freedom if you just step out 

there is a whole new world 

just

out

there

 

i want to ask you hope

why are you like this so .... angry with yourself

so down 

so lacking in confidence

yes

 it seems like you have it all but i don't think it is all

 i think its pride

and arrogance

and although i am kind I am deeply evil inside too

to be continued....