what is wrong with me?

Feeling down cuz hes not around I missed his call and im missing all the inspiration of a faithful ramadan feeling dirty now like im an outcast am I really doing a right fast? the last ramadan where I will be like this single and alone and ...far away from home I am far away from Allah and his glory I dont know when ill stop this madness and look at myself correct thinking about all thats wrong insttead of all thatas perfect I am a strange charachter simple things worry me and great things dont effect me isnt it great to worry aobut being faithless on the first friday of ramadan the last ramadan ill be like this//// I feel...empty and untrusting of everything Ya allah help me feel better and stronger Ya allah let me change my ways and become the better woman the one with a more drastic cut off and happy beginning