except a fan...

There comes a time when I look at yello flowers from my window a fan queitly blowing air - the hum reminds me of the sudanese glisten of mid afternoon stillness - except...their fans are a long way away from 15.45 pm afternoon above the equator ..and yet we all live the same times and breathe the same oxygen doenst matter if its hot or cold - its all one day and the same day at that and yet we all feel diferent and we all want to be different and have different meanings and so i wonder where I am and where is mym eaning for i knw ive lost all meaning and yet the butterflies trapped in my sight show me there is always meaning to the world and ther is always god to give you meaning There comes a time where i regret regrettng and i regret every part of me that is dark bitter and tempted to always look and always feel and yet i want to feel and I want to be but the eye will tell what she didnt want to see ... the woman who never was - i wonder where my emotions are and I realise theyve always been here I jsut stopped using them i wonder where my strength is I realise its always inside me I just forgot abuot it convincing myself that I am weak and thus can nly deserve a weak life life will go on whether I am happy or sad and I dont want to live a life that is ..sad and regret it I want to live it to the full and so i chose a man who knows how to live he is my palace and my royalty and i want to be a queen with him