what is it that i am writing and becoming

i see something and I tihnk
god that is not me
i am so much better than that
there i so much worse in this world
i am better than that

and then i see better
and i think
i am no where near that

i am so much worse than that
i am no where near
that goodness
i am no where near

and then i think
where am I /
what have i decided for myself
what have i earned?
what have i asked and got
what have i asked and what have i forgot
what do i think
what do i think

what is it that i want
what is it that i neeed
what is it that i truly desire
what is it that i have earned
what is it that i have learned
why am i so stressed
am i really the best/
can i be the best
or am i a lie
and i just spy
on better people

what am i
who am I
what is it that i wnat
what is it that i want
what is it that i can achieve

how many times must i fail to pass
how many times must i cry to smile
how many times must i defend to win
how many times must i say yes before no
how many times must i break before i heal

when will it all end
when will it all be sent for review
wn will it be examnied
whn will it be marked

until then what will i do
its still on its still all on........