sleeping ugly

one day I will explode
so they say
but I pray
that  I will be saved one day

before I go on the dying road

1987-
Am I not already there
on the dash of life
on the road to the end
I wonder about a lot of things
some things fear me
some things change me
some things break me
but mostly some things take me
to another dimension and I am stuck

stuck in this swirling portal
angry with myself angry with the world
angry from others angry from myself

yes I am angry from myself from being weak
from being bleak
from  being superficial

I am only unhappy that i am not faithful enough
here I am
trying to find the right words but really the words are in my heart and i cannot get them out

I am sad because i have not tried hard enough
i am upset not becasue of what i am i am so much better than this
but i am upset at what ive let myself become
yes
i have let myelf become still young
immature
still broken
still weak
still weak
loving sleep
like sleeping beauty/
no
like sleeping ugly
i am sleeping ugly