Feeling like a failure

I do not want to remember
I do not want to surrender
 Iwant to pass my life
pass my tests
with great marks
I want to win
 iwant to challenge myself and become the great mysterious the great universal
I want to defend my territories
of ove and courage
for 5 minutes I want to blend a life worth living with the life that Im having
I Want to feel my eyes call me to the right picture
the perfect movie

or the perfect night
cobblestone walkways
and untold fairytales lie
the moon presents with a smile in its eye

for us

I want to not be nervous and engage myself in true honesty
Why have I forgotten who I am waht my faith is/
I feel undeniably old
and big
until I let people laugh at it
I deserve it
and I do not deny it
that I deserve to be laughed at

but I will not surrender
ever



I want to create new things but they must be good they must be good