So long ago 3

I have to stop this nonsense

there are too many cycles in my head

running and cycling in imaginary ticking mistakes

but you never talk nonsense...

god i do,

I do

falling in your arms

you hold me but there is no love there

there is nothing to hold on to

for real

for life

you let me look at you

but i cannot see a thing

i cannot melt into your eyes

or feel your hands

or know your dreams

i just look at invisible fields and rollercoasters of emotion

all blowing in the wind

flying so far away from me

storming out of my goodness and into my hate

becoming my hatred

my regrets

my disasters

I am so shocked at my intense anger

my intense fear

my intense

loneliness

my intense sacrifices

my intense changes

my intense commitment to nothing

my intense love for something

my intense nonsense