volcano feelings

I have a lot to do but one thing holds me one thing annoys me
and it is to write to say whats wrong how I feel
i feel like a furious volcano not wanting to erupt but having to erupt not wanting to kill but having to kill the cool
I feel like all that trapped lava hot and dangerous - spontaneous yet scientific
i feel like the crunch of the earth and I feel like I dont want to be here in this explosion
........
Instead I want to be making relationships with the ocean with the creative washes and cool breeze
I want to take all my anger and redness and heat and slam it into the wild rushes of water
 Iwant to drown in comfort and understanding
happy and content
a nice situation of nature to be in
I want to wake with love have love for myself before anything
....................
yes for the lave inside me will burn me consume me win me mould me and I do not want to be changed
I want to change myself
I want to be beautiful for GOd
i know the power of destruction has started to destroy me
I know I feel agitated like the volcanos sudden movement
I am thinking why cant I stop? just stop
and the answer is ...........