screamin in silence

screamin in silence lookin for an answer falling down like a poorly trained dancer
broken down useless and concerned
its like my battle has been played
sprayed with anguish and no chance for me to fight
its like im watching my battle being fought for me by the devil
I feel only evil hitting my heart
I feel only misery attacking what I want to start
Ive never felt like this
so so so lost
so so so far away from faith
its like my battery has died
has totally died
its like the charge inside me has been torn and I Cannot find a charger for my good feelings my good remedies theyre i nteh past its like im in the futre withut my past
im in this future where fverything is terrible and i am alone
this future without anything nice
its like my future isnt mine
and I am so afraid it iwll come true
all becasue I have lost faith
I have lost loving god
knowing god
praying
simple reading quran
simple contorlling my thoughts my actions
its amazing how a simply guilt can take you break you change you
i feel awful
I feel like I need to be punished
and iTell myself or I hear GOd does what you think of him
so why am i thinking the worst
I feel like i want to scream in silence
scream get out !
you tremendously heavy fears get out
GOd is mine
God is my own