I never usually 20

Ive missed 8

Ive missed my life passing by

Ive missed myself

I ran myself flat tired, gasping for breath

gasping for me and my dreams

Ive missed my love, my eyes,

Ive missed taking care of my dreams

for my dreams

I lost and gave them to this drama

and thats not what i intended

I intended to make my own love

my own fights and smiles

my own ... happinness

I intented to ask for this

to pray for this

to beg for this

and to use them as a brick

but not as my house

no I wnat my own house

my own rain

my own temper

my own anger

my own heart love

my own dreams coming true

yes, I need their help

but now they are not helping me

they are changing me

you see, I never usually change

and now I it is time to stop changing

I mean change is adangerous thing

you can change for the better

but u can also become something you cannot understand anymore

someone tired and sick

someone ...afraid

and hiding from themselves and their image

someone hiding from the world

escaping into this and that scene

I will not give up

I just need to find myself

find myself i must do