The hottest toaster

Ive ever seen was in  paediatric staff room not allowed but as a parent i was hungry having slept on a side chair all noght. But i was vague and not sharp and so it was very very hot she said

But not like my heart or my dreams or just me being difficult or too unfocused

Oh how i wish i thought things through 

Although i usually do 

Too much 

Too much 

Too much 

Broken is the way 

What do i say 

Stay queit or move

I want to help 

I want to change

I want to be strong

But she doesnt care

She doesnt think of me as i think of myself

But then i cant let it go

I am 

The strongest woman with the lowest self esteem i believe. And the most confidwnt with the wildest anxiety

Its hard

Being me

But its harder those around me

Should they love me?

Should they not?

Should they understand or should they not?

Why and why 

Ami here

In a small comsultation room being little boss in a place 2 hours from home thinking about the day my toast burnt in the hottest toaster id ever seen