Trance like

I’m in a trance

Called everything will be ok suddenly and you just don’t worry about anything except the dreams 

Worrying creates pain - 

So dream instead

Now I have added this extended pressure that I cannot make positive no more

Habits strengthen me and solidify my weaknesses filling the cracks with lava initially that hurt but after cooling make things alright 

Why not you?

Why can’t you?

Why so slow?

Why like this and not that?

Didn’t we say comparisons were the worst!

And now here I am comparing this amazing man with no man 

A story with a bigger story

Myself with my dream self

My old self with this nobody

My now with someone or something invisible

And yet the visible I. Choose to ignore

My health

My mind

My intelligence

Suddenly I’m thinking I’m the worst writer in the world rather than I’m a new writer with so many possibilities 

And why did I forget all that I have written ? All my abilities and capabilities and the most important

Passion and belief 

I’m suddenly giving up all this hard work and effort for nothing 

Suddenly pushing aside all the hard work I have to really do 

Giving my ears and everything away. 

What does it all matter?

Just dream on eh? 

Suddenly, life is back to being messy back to being goal less

Back to being too much for me 

Back to being what it was like before Ramadan 

But isn’t that what I exactly asked for would not happen