dear dear Allah _

Ya Allah, I dont know how to thank you, you have given me a present so expensive and meaningful, so important to me
you keep never letting me down when i do
you keep helping me when i dont help myself
you keep remembering me even after i forget oyu
you keep thinking of ways to make my life better even when i dont
you stop my problems when i cant

ya allah
I thank you
and this new ramadan where i would never want  anything but your forgiveness i still ask and ask
and you still give and give

Ya Allah
thank you
I pray you forgive me
I pray you still want me
I pray you forget my sins
and my terrible things

and help me change
help me ......... in project BED




to be continued////////////

ps am sorry for being mean, for being like them, the worse thing in the world is to copy someone's actions, someone who is unhumane,  just because they do it to you - and that is exactly what i did.

I kept asking myself why dont i feel good about writing that , or thinking that , or being that girl
and the reason is I was brought up to be a kind woman, a woman who holds firm her beliefs and intentions are well - no matter what
taking your revenge is not the sunshine i want to fill my heart with
and i realised that all im doing is letting their venom poison me


no that is not me
i am better
i am kinder
i am faithful
i am the one who knows im right
and knows Allah will be there to prove that
and I am the one who is going to be......


amazing



to be contuned



ive let this place down - i.e ive let my emotions . feelings, goodness and sadness fall down the drain, instead of collecting them and making my life interesting and poetic no matter what im writing about


i miss writing
for me
changing and thinking and breaking free

i feel locked not from other peoples ways but from my own
i feel sad not because they make me sad but because i let them
i feel weak not because i am weak but because i see them as strong

God this is not the woman i should be

and i wont be


Ramadan countdown to the 10 beautiful nights is here
The Quran , showering our hearts till now
Ramadan the beautiful days the first time ever I am with family and friends
and I love it



ya Allah

I am here and I am here to be yours
because i love you so much

dear
dear Allah