insane without God

sick of saying the same thing
and never meaning anything
sick of being someone I dont want to be
looking at the same old me
useless and confused
and unable to remember like my brains been abused
sick of feeling like a tormented crowded soul
in my own land i have lost battle of control
sick of waking up each and everyday
as if theres nothing more today
just the same big cracks
and the exact same tastes
and the identical hastes to time
sick of bleeding all my self
and becoming someone Im allergic to
and have no connection to
and have no relation to at all

yes Im living with myself and dont know
anything about
am sharing the same soul and dont know
what time it comes in at night
and what its doing
no I have no clue and its all behind my back
a secretive clever attack... really

sick of the woman ive become
a tarnished thing just gone
nowhere can I feel, see, hear , or understand who I am
sick of the blunt body I have
and the sharp eyes that scrape
and the irritation inside me
that breaks... shadows into two
and reflections into 4
each one driven to a direction
as far away from the centre as possible

sick of the stretch of time im in
always leaving things without an end
just stupid enough to think ill blend
behind someone theyll let me in

and until then Ill be gutting out my words against
them all
for im the best and they all fall

and the monster inside me will point and laugh
ha! im the best one around and your all just a draft
of a devils catch

but the truth is im the devils fish
for dinner
smelling rotten but herbed with garlic and thyme
and ill be eaten like a beautiful rhyme
flavoured into insanity
for insanity is doing the same thing expecting different results

and so I must be insane

sick of being insane............