gotta, wanna,

wanna write my words carefully, for saying something and meaning something are two different things. Yesterday I didnt mean what i said, and  I certainly didnt mean what I did, now time is running out but I am not..running. Wanna be different. Wanna change, spiritually, physically , mentally, beautifully, everything,. Say, words are swords but I dont wanna kill anyone , I wanna save the world, but first gotta save myself, cuz I miss myself and I miss God and life and really wanna have forgiveness in my life. but how can I have forgiveness if I dont forgive others... worse, need to forgive myself. forgotten how to be.. happy,, forgotten how to be kind.. gotta be strong, and unknown, for telling yourself to others only means your superficially painted . gotta be collected, gotta be new, Ya Rab gotta be me...