April balances

I have a lot to say but nothing on my mind
the words are stuck and i just cannot find
the way to think

I feel silly saying nothing
I feel angry writing meaningless words
but I'm trying to make sense of my world and not understanding how to write it

for i feel selfish with no gratitude
and i feel honoured with no respect
and i feel beautiful with no boundaires
and i feel high without having been low
and i feel sweet without having tasted bitter


i promised myself april would be different
and already its still the same
i feel like im a copy of all my mistakes put together
and nothing original has ever been let come out

its either april is my saviour
or my murderer
...............