no more.....no more.....

In the morning I discovered a voice had died
I never care about things like that
but suddenly I reminded myself of days and memories I had forgotten
songs that mean so much even when i was just born and they waited for me those songs until i grew up to care about them
suddenly i revisited a chapter of love tt means a part of what i search
suddenly tears for stoeln words so beautiful and beginnings so good and endings so sad
stories so deep and dangerous
I suddenly was jolted into a lane
of treasure
a perfect tune?
I always search for the most perfect song
always for  the best
i never find it
because im really looking forhte perfect inside me

i have nothing without god and faith and here I am searching for a higher love in all the wrong places
I will always love you,  god even if I dont listen to the things you say, even if i think i hate life even if I am lazy and naughty that is not the real me I really should be an unashamed beautiful woman, one of those days i will be and i will let god know that he lights up my life and i am very grateful for that . I am selfish now looking for it all at once but when you believe that it is all written in the stars and that I belong to you and you are made for me , when u stop worrying and remember that he was made to love me and I was made to love him and that I am saving all my love for you - if I told you that youll never stand alone if you have patience and honesty and deep integrity then you will get your life and peace back you will get it back so dear hope until you come back and until my love you find the miracle that is right in front of you , I will inhale and exhale and sruvive and never give up on ...I'm knockin on the door waiting until you open and let me in, until you let yourself in, I am waiting for one moment in time where you are hapy where you look to the sky and know completely that you are queen of the night but you must you must work for this , you ask why does it hurt so bad the reason is because you are not takin a chance, but if you start over and find the strength within you , I will run to you, hope and it will never be just the lonely talking again...........