failing today - is the worst day

here I am wondering  how  i am going to survive te pain of tommorow
once saying all is well
all is bleeding
all is useless
now
i can only drown
the sweet young good girl
falling and falling
like an ugly one
I want to be heard
I wnat to be felt
I want to be absorbed
but not by the devil
not by facebook
not by nighttime and morning chains

i feel tormented with inner guilt
I want to scream
 Iwant to die
I want to never live again
but most importantly I do not want to fail