my ring, my faith

ya allah
ihave lost you
I cannot remember you
my passion for you has withered
my passion for you has dissappeared
ya allah my love for you has been eliminated out of the game

Ya allah I miss you

I want you back
like a beautiful relationship lost
I am the discoverer I have lst it all having an affair with some other desire

Ya allah I realise you are the only one i need
I am so selfish now
I have done so wrong
but I just want you now

Y a allah I am here
see me
I do not deserve to even speak your name
to even be your servant
to even have this diamond of faith I am still wearing

but it is not longer shining
my beautiful ring
it once used to shine my way
and give me direction in the darkest of hours
and now
I look at it and it is lifeless
dull just a block of stone

my ring, my faith , i have it but i cannot see it
i cannot elaborate on it

I am embarrassed ya allah
i am so far away ya allah
i am the one who has just seen the signpost
hell - arrow - this way -
and i havecontinued walking


and now another sign post
hell - arrow - this way - getting closer

I am the woman looking at the signpost in the middle of a dry desert thirsty and chained , bleeding and tired looking at this sign looking at my black ring of dull faith
...................