11-4.5

what a terrible number to write
a horrible day to begin
the first day of ice is the first day of darkness in my eyes
I want to die
but I know I will go to hell if I die so soon
i must not let it break me
like a  cold cold recession
I must not let it kill me
like an awful accident
it was an awful accident
but I will recover
and I will not surrender
for I am a good person
 I am a weak good person
I am a kind person
and I deserve to understan d the molecules of my soul
I understand tiny bits and so I make great mistakes
but yesterday i understood a great big chunk of my evil soul
it is an evil soul
a weak soul
a soul to be embrrassed from
it is a woul with no lines of defence and no outlook forhte future
escpecialy the afterlife
I does not love god the way I love god
and it loves the devil the way I hate the devil
it is a soul of no mercy and no hope for it to ever save me
and so I have to start all over again at number 11