I....fall into the zone of forever falling

I
feel like I'm falling from grace
all the embankments of paradise missing me
earths body acknowledges me ....but only as the forgetful
so it forgets me
justa bare whisper in its centuries of past and thousands of tommorow
I
am but a mere shadow, a slight wist of a brush
to try paint the core of my body onto yours
I
forget what its like to be good
to be agood person
to be a strong person
for I am diseased with utter weakness
madness
blackness
I fall and fall and fall
each zone encounters a paradox of time
one challenges me to forget dreams
dreams so hard to ignore
I cannot
I cannot stop looming through the zone of dreams
One cries for my sanity
the zone of tears for my...for me
I cannot look
I cannot cry
I cannot demand tears comecrashing
tears come dying
for my glistening failures
I fall
I continue to fall
the zone of peace
I hear existence
my existence
my small cell of atom survival
its here
I need to find it
I need to revive it
but I am falling so fast I cannot fight it
to stop
just stop
and breathe and look around
where are you?
what are you?
what do you exist for?
why can you not ?
why do you?
when can you stop?