and old story always new

I need to fill in the blanks
So I can cross the planks
I forget what I wanted and how much I needed it
I'm back to square minus 1
even though I need to get to circle 30

Lying somewhere in the galaxy
It's such a long journey
Of motivation to proceeed through the pain
And something pulls me back
My demons that I pack

To take with me in my heavy luggage
I forget my dreams, my romance, my desires
Filled with aspirations and spirals
Here love never retires
But here tears inspire ... me to continue

Lacerations of a family so wounded
I imagine better days not scorned
Stronger days not torn
Pieces that come together and stick forever

I imagine a family with happier perfusions
Not this torn infusion
Of a sentimental lie
What is it that I want,
How is it that I achieve

I need to excersise my emotions like a muscle
Train them to be thinner
Make them feed less on reality and fantasy
Let them do sit ups to firm up so everything feels beautiful and light

I need to train myself to change, to re- arrange
The corners of my time to make circles
The roads must meet yet trains of thought must never collide
Because I need to reach my destination
Ride through all the deprivations
Roll through smooth imaginations

I must remember my promises so I dont turn into someone that I lied to
I must keep them flash in the dark and have a fire in them so they spark
To show me the way - How I pray
I must remember my promises - otherwise I will dissappear into a lie
I will be written with invisible dye
That no-one will memorise

I will forget who I am -
I will rain on my shadows till I become one dimensional
I will hurt myself and not save myself
I need to be infatuated with my soul
I need to be in Love with my heart
I need to be connected with my eyes
I need to be determined to survive
I need to keep my promises alive