Ramadan 28_ The end

His voice  translates all my emotions into tears
the words rythym into moments where I belong and this time is correct
for me
sounds fury why my soul is not sound
thinking
when it should be found

The memories glisten of a past present today
enfolding as I am apart
of the finishing of the Quran



The imam creates a way into a new space a new passion
where I want to read forever
where I want to stand for all eternity
where I want to be with me again

I understand my pain
I know my reasons for disgust
are they all going to go?

his voice rejoices in Allah's power
in Allah's purity and mercy on us
I realise my battle is with me alone
for Allah will forgive me
it is I that must forgive myself
I realise that it is my soul that I can control
for here I am ....crying
tears of joy, fear? want? desire? wrong? right?

so many emotions
one feeling
I must forgive to be forgiven
 I must forgive and believe in forgiveness
I must be strong about forgiveness

Ramadan forgives
and offers you a new day in thefirst day of your life
forgive me dear God
Forgive me
small andbig
secret andaloud
forgive my sins
ugly and mean
ugly and mad
ugly and sad
forgive me

I want to feel like i truly belong with his voice
the beauty in the strength of his knowledge
I feel embarrasssed
I should know these ayas
What have i been doing?
what have i been learning?
look look what people can achieve?

His voice never falters
his voice never clouds
his words only rise and rise
and I feel empowered jealous
that I did know of this heaven before hand
that I did not share this trust and purity before hand

Dear GOd
do not letmeleave Ramadan without forgiving me
Dear God
Forgive me
Dear God
have mercy on me./................