Every second in every day and I cannot forgive myself
my conscience is like a gaping wound
each time I increase the torment by a new mistake
I think and immediately regret
I act and instantly wonder why
I never accept what do but I am not to give up
if there is one unique thing about me .....my faith
Dear God I am in love with you for sure
I may. Be so confused about everyone else but that I know for sure
My heart awaits praying my mind awaits your peace my dress awaits your acceptance
When I think of you I don't care about others there is a beautiful healing in your thoughts wondrous medicine in your time
Looking at the clear sky above my head this morning all I can feel is safety for being here or being anywhere I am still with you
I am so faraway from home worse still I am so far away from my sanity for here my emotions have run melted and cooked
I can't stop thinking about raw feelings and old memories mixed up with new conquests
here I am free with the new wind landlocked up in the fantasy of my desires
I keep thinking and wondering and asking and trying and failing
the distractions are not from others but from myself
right now right now I don't know is it malpractice. Inexperience bad human nature how a part of me can suffer so dramatically from myself and the other part continues to mend continues to prove me wrong I admit I am broken in consistency
I admit I am severly judgmental within my inner and outer boundaries and forget that I judge others I admit I judge others even if what they're doing is wrong
I have no right to feel like this
my heart twitters on others people's mistakes to forget my own I know I know I have lack of confidence but I build that up with strength of personality no one
no one
not even this ugly invasive part of me ......can succeed to fail me .
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