GOd I Thannk you

GOd, I Thank you
for your kindness the sunshine right now
I feel dark
Ifeel like I dont deserve

God, I thank you
for all you have done
I feel like youre pulling me into goodness
while my soul keeps setting me back
God I thankyou
for the CONTINUOUS love you have shown
while I have not been that continuous
God IThank you for giving me Islam
for giving me romance
for doing all these things for me
you simply... could have not
God
I love you
and I hate myself
for not hving the strength to recover from doing bad things

I know there are a lot of other good girls who pray for you
and I wonder what level am I on thescale
I mean
Iwonder how many others shine through before me
yes
yes I Am jealous for your love
yes I Am jealous for your safety