18 days until....

why am I at war
with myself

I feel I'm at warwith myself
when i look at my body I feel regret
when I listen to my heart
I cannot trust
hen I feel my soul
I cannot touch

I am at war with myself
with my dreams and emotions
it's like I am hijacked ...by myself

I do not know where I am going
I do not know who is taking me
the devil my weak soul
myself

how could t be mself?

here I am a beautiful woman
a woman created to live
this is my only function
to live and survive for God

and here I am crying and begging
and scremaing inside for love

yet I do not know love
I do not fell love
I do not understand what love is
for I am not in love with myself
I am at war with myself


there are ......18 days until my birthday.....
a new year again...
what am I going to do?