ha,!

ha, sometimes I can close my eyes and my dreams fall into place

nothing is really wrong , except me but then I can see all the ways I need to change me and it becomes all right

ha, I can even sleep atn ight and I can stop doing all those mistakes and pretending

I can stop pretending or hating

I can stop hating myself or anyone else for that matter

ha, sometimes I get so angry with myself for becoming so foreign, so naive, so dramatically useless

I get so angry at being sick right down to the soul for I have not taken care of myself

I have not thought right

I haven ot trusted god

that - is the biggest disease

for when that happens

ha, I lose the world

I become a monster

I cannot control the pain

I feel tormented my loneliness

when I forget God

it feels like I let go of an only love affair in my life

like all i dreamt of came right to my door

and i said no

i said no

to the one thing I ever wanted

the one thing i ever dreamt about

the only thing that is on my mind

all the time

anywhere



ha, when I think of how I treat myself

and how others may be treating themselves

what they want in life

how they live their lives

I

ha, go crazy

but then suddenly i see a movie

where it is filmed in true innocence

and really a beautful blue silk desire of dusken growing relationships

I feel like ha, that could happen to me!

if I only wasnt so ..... lost

so

enemising the one true real beauty in my life... Faith

ha, faith is no joke

and i choke - without it

no joke

oh god, I just want to beforgive

I just want anotehr chance

no joke

i just want to change my life

even if its the simplest things

but i just want to be forgiven

ha, I want to clear conscience!

I want a clear dream

i just want to be forgiven please god, I just want to be forgiven