shake me

So little time, with so many things left to do
So many problems with such few answers
few answers that I should take
and make the right choice
so many right choices that I have escaped
so many quick pathways that are wrong
its taking too long to wake up
and shake up
yesterday and the days before
its like... i want to hold my shoulders and shake and shake and shake my body out of my body
my mind out of my mind
and let a very cold jug of water be thrown upon me too
like prayers
I need something to shock me
and im searching in all the unfaithful places
I need someone to hold me
but all I need is God and his love
His love and beauty is right here for me
he has given me so much
and so many things
I need and dont need
I feel priveleged and undeserving of his kindness
its like the lover who gives you all and wants nothing in return
just wants you to love him and be there for him
and be good to him
isnt that what love is
so why am I running away ..from him
from God
my lover
my best friend
my indication of beautiful Islam