Khartoum Heartbreak 10_ find that day and bring it to me

The breeze asks for my forgiveness to forgive myself as my mind travels across grass of quiet beauty - I ask for flowers pink in gold vases and seatings under the silver moon - trauma of love defines identity as people hum life and memory by tiles woven with history - I walk magic of elephant trees and peackock visiting - it comes so close - pecking at my love for sudan- wondering - why am i here? who am I? the king of beauty in down town suburban sweets collection - I am offered a tribute of entering but right now I do not get involved - for I am not involved in the frightening cells of afternoon sleeping visits- tranquility shocked by open eyes - and closed fragility the sun wakes invisibly to hide the dawn of the dead - something in me broke or burnt by the sirens of fear - run away by wasting time - watching the haven door open and close into the drizzling streets of despair - department khartoum - sick of living the corner and watching the turns pass me- stuck in today - and worse - yesterday- tryin to remember when i was strong - ridiculous entity - I am not .... like this... I cannot be like this...spitting the run down balconies of africa - I look out to the neighbours - the generators - the wasps of flies emailing my attention - come find me .... please come find me -from deep inside me - come back - I am sorry I let go - I am so sorry I let go - but the traffic was heavy and the weight was heavy - it was a cold night or a hot day - I cannot remember the extremities of the details but the result is today - now - I sit here -waiting for the passion inside me to wake up - to fight - to resume battle and win -